Terms of Service - User Agreement

Last updated August 17th, 2010

This Agreement constitutes your agreement with Ukudlei, LLC and its publication, The Boner Bible. You must agree to be bound by all of the terms and conditions in this Agreement. If you disagree with any of them, you may contact us for a custom made agreement. However, if you do not contact us and request a custom agreement, by using any of the services on this site, and that means looking at the site at all, then you agree to abide by all of these terms and conditions.

Guess what? Since these are OUR terms of service, we get to change them whenever we feel like it. Well, okay, we'll be fair. See the date up top? That is the last time we changed it. You should make note of that date. Write it down. Come back to these terms every week or so, just to see if we changed it. If we change anything, we will update the date. Then you have to read all this stuff again. Sorry, our lawyer' you know how it is.

Boner Bible does not take much seriously, but we do take age of consent and actual consent seriously.

On the first day, the Lord spaketh, and his word was that if you want to make porn, you must maketh thy porn of models who are over the age of 18 and who have given their consent. And therefore, Boner Bible only allows photos of those who are over the age of 18 and who have consented to their photos being used in a pornographic manner.

If you have any reason to believe that any photograph on this website violates this commandment, please copy the image's URL and click here and paste the URL into the form you will find there.

Speaking of the underage - you have to be over 18 as well. We don't care if your mom says it is okay, or if your creepy uncle is letting you read Boner Bible while he babysits. If you are not 18, get the hell out of here and come back when you have a credit card and a draft registration number.

This should go without saying, but since there are idiots out there who will claim that they were shocked to find porn on this site - this is a PORN site. So, if you're here, then you WANT to see sexually explicit material, you don't consider that to be obscene or troubling, and you promise that you won't have an attack of the vapors if you see a penis pounding again and again into a nice boy's butt.

Oh, back to creepy uncles. If you ARE a creepy uncle, and you want to sit some underage kid on your lap while you look at porn, go to another site to do that. We suggest that you go to www.fbi.gov and tell them that you are a pedophile. Give them your name and address. They will send you tootsie rolls we promise.

Now that the creepy stuff is over, lets talk about stuff. OUR stuff! First of all, Boner Bible is our trademark. We own it. You can't use it, except under certain conditions. You might want to ask your lawyer first, because if OUR lawyer has to educate you on when you can use our trademark, he's going to take your money.

Copyright is important too, so you should understand that we know that some of the stuff on Boner Bible isn't ours. The materials from other websites, like the sites we review, belongs to those websites. We are using them under the doctrine of fair use. But, if you find the pictures on our website, that doesn't mean that you get to use them. Again, get your own damn lawyer.

Still on copyright, the writing on this site, the reviews, the design of the site, and everything else that doesn't belong to one of the reviewed sites - that is our stuff. That is our copyrighted stuff. Guess what we do? We register all of it with the U.S. Copyright office. If we find out that you stole it, we will sue you. We can get at least $750 from you for that, plus our attorneys fees. We can get up to $150,000 per infringement though, and that's what we will tell our attorney to try and get from you. So look at dicks. Play with dicks. But don't be a dick and steal our stuff.

Speaking of dicks, there are lots of them in really conservative places. If you live in some crappy town where all the cops and city councilors call this website - that kind of thing, and all the people at your local Wal Mart agree, then talk to your lawyer. Ask her if Boner Bible violates the community standards in your community. If it does not, then go ahead and read Boner Bible till you cream in your jeans. If your lawyer says 'yes, this here website violates the community standards of Bibleburg, Mississippi, - then you should move - or just access Boner Bible when you go on vacation in Key West -- everything goes there.

In case any of the provisions contained in this Agreement are held to be invalid, illegal or unenforceable in any respect, such invalidity, illegality or unenforceability shall not affect any other provision(s) hereof, and this Agreement shall be construed as if such invalid, illegal or unenforceable provision's had never been included. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision(s) of this Agreement shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision.

If you decide that you have a legal dispute with us, you agree that you will bring any disputes against us in Honolulu, Hawaii, or in San Diego, California. This choice of forum is mandatory. If you think you might want to go to court with us, and you don't want to come to either of those places, then sorry - you might want to use another website, because those are the only places that we are willing to go to court.